Recovery Resources
- emilyelizabethfran
- Aug 10, 2015
- 6 min read
Drawing from Colour your Way to Calm, via Chapters/Indigo
It's now been more than two years since I was officially diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. A friend and I were catching up last week, and the topic of my initial diagnosis arose. I hadn't thought about - really thought about it - in a long time. It got me thinking about how much I distract myself from the reality of my eating disorder, either subconsciously or not. There are even moments when I convince myself that I've never even had an eating disorder. My dietician/therapist reminds me that these are moments when my eating disorder convinces me of that. She reminds me that I need to learn to differentiate these thought patterns.
Differentiating thought patterns. That's psychiatric jargon for recognizing that not all the voices in my head are my own. One voice belongs to my illness, and cannot be trusted. This is exactly the paradigm utilized by Jenni Schaefer in Life Without Ed, the story of Jenni's recovery from a relentless eating disorder, one that she refers to as her abusive ex-husband, ED. ED, of course, stands for Eating Disorder. Jenni describes her relationship with Ed in a way that elucidates how eating disorders grip their victims. Her book was one of the most helpful resources I came across when I first committed to recovering.
When I opened up to my boyfriend about my eating disorder, I told him I wasn't in a place where I could explain it to him well enough, but that if he had time, he could read Life Without Ed, as it might help him understand what I was going through. And bless him, my love, we'd only been dating for a month and he read the book from cover-to-cover, gaining an understanding of my thoughts and the voices that still to this day, torment me.
I'll be frank; I am not fully recovered. My blood pressure returned to a healthy ratio a few weeks ago, but my heart rate still needs to pick itself up. I still have days when I skip meals to feel accomplished or vomit my days' worth of nutrients to relieve stress. I still have days when Ed takes over, days when my boyfriend can recognize, from reading Jenni's book, when Ed is the one speaking to him, instead of me.
But I am so much better than I was two years ago. I am happier and more hormonally balanced; I don't need to wear cable knit sweaters in July to combat my cold intolerance. I have a greater capacity to socialize, a greater capacity to love, and my hair is thick again, like it was before my illness took over. I owe so much of this to my family and friends, who continue to support me in so many ways. I owe so much of this to my boyfriend, the most caring, supportive human being I know. As I get older, I realize that I owe much of this to my own personal resilience, and my determination to overcome this illness. And of course, I owe quite a lot of this progress to the incredible health team I have behind me, including my general practitioner, and my dietician/therapist.
But I also owe some of this progress to a few great resources I've discovered along the way. If you or someone you love is suffering with an eating disorder, or, is at risk of suffering, consider checking out some of the optiosn below, for help and guidance.
NEDIC Website - The National Eating Disorder Information Centre is an excellent, absolutely free resource for learning more about eating disorders and ways to tackle ED symptoms. I especially love their list of "Ideas for Us All", which includes ideas on how to foster a positive, stress-free environment when it comes to food and body image.
Life Without Ed, by Jenni Schaefer - Truly a must-read. As I mentioned above, Schaefer writes candidly about her battle with, and divorce from ED - her eating disorder. Her story is a gift to the community of men and women striving to recover from eating disorders.
The Body Image Workbook - This step-by-step guide by Thomas Cash can help secure the body-image piece of the puzzle for victims of body dysmorphia, an inevitable cause and ramification of eating disorders. This book helps individuals to avoid fixating on perceived bodily or facial flaws, and start enjoying life without the anxiety that body dysmorphia produces and reinforces.
What I Ate Knock-Knock Pad - In my first stages of recovery, my dietician/therapist had me logging everything I ate. This way, I could see my reality written out before me. I had proof that I wasn’t gorging myself on a daily basis, even if I thought I was. By recording everything I ate, I could set weekly goals to try and increase my calorie-intake. Knock-Knock sells these fun notepads for diet tracking, and while I don't support obsessively tracking food and calorie-intake, I know from experience, that tracking one’s meals in the first stages of eating disorder recovery can be crucial. This colourful pad is a fun, more aesthetically pleasing way of tracking what you've eaten in a day.
What to Eat Knock-Knock Pad - Similarly, this colourful Knock-Knock pad can be really helpful in recovery, as it helps you to plan out balanced meals that meet all of your nutritional goals. For example, I now know that lunch every day should not look like a lonely bottle of sparkling water. A sandwich with an apple or an orange and maybe a cookie for dessert, a salad with a serving of protein and a serving of grains on the side, or a bowl of chili with a serving of grains and a glass of fresh juice; that's what lunch should look like for me. You may have different nutritional needs, or may be at a different stage in your recovery. Either way, this notepad can help you account for that and keep you going in a positive dietary direction.
Sheena's Place - If you live in the Toronto area and are suffering, or know someone who is suffering from an eating disorder, Sheena's Place is a wonderful resource. Sheena's Place is a not-for-profit organization that offers group therapy sessions for individuals 17 years of age, or older. The best thing about Sheena's Place is that you don't require a dcotor's referral to attend group therapy sessions there. While the medical profession continues to adjust its diagnosis guidelines for eating disorders, many previous diagnosis guidelines were too severe, and thus, prevented many of those suffering with an eating disorder from officially being diagnosed because his or her BMI, although frighteningly low, was too high to be considered Anorexic or Bulimic. This is why Sheena's Place's no-referral-needed system is a great one. It ensures that anyone seeking help for an eating disorder can go there, and receive it. Sheena's Place has a comprehensive guide to eating disorders, here; its website is an excellent resource.
Colour Your Way to Calm - It's great to see adult colouring emerging as a trend. After endless studies have revealed the value of colouring as an activity that stimulates the brain in a healthy, non-stressful way, these books are being marketed as the gateway to serenity and a means of curbing anxiety. I especially love this Splendid Cities colouring book I found on the Indigo/Chapters website. When I first entered recovery, my general practitioner, the specialists in my eating disorder hospital program, and my therapist/dietician all recommended finding an activity like colouring, to take my mind off of food and body size. Sudoku is also great for this, as are crossword puzzles, word searches, knitting, and even cleaning. Developing these hobbies also means learning to spend free time doing things other than exercising and obsessing over food.
These are just a few tools I have discovered along the way, and chosen to utilize in my efforts to recover from Anorexia. I know, however, that everyone is different, and every person’s struggle is unique. Eating disorders are complex mental and physical illnesses that result from interacting biological, psychological and socio-environmental factors. What fuels one’s eating disorder may be different from what perpetuates my own. Nevertheless, I have found that there are common links between cases of eating disorders, and so, optimistically, I am posting this with the hope that some of these tools – the one’s that have assisted me in small but meaningful ways – may also be of assistance to those of you out there who are also struggling.
Comments